Searching for a Dwelling Place.

This morning God led me to Psalm 84:

"How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord Almighty!
My soul yearns and even faints,
For the courts of the Lord;
my heart and flesh cry out
for the living God."

I like to remember that God is a King and a Lord and that we are His people. I like to remember that I am a servant of the Lord God, that he is my King, that he calls me his daughter. I can't even fathom what the courts of the Lord look like, but I would be bold enough to say that they are glorious, full of peace, praise and reverence. Psalm 84 goes on to say:

Even the sparrow has found a home,
   and the swallow a nest for herself,
   where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
   LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
⁴ Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
   they are ever praising you.
 ⁵ Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
   whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
⁶ As they pass through the Valley of Baka,
   they make it a place of springs;
   the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
⁷ They go from strength to strength,
   till each appears before God in Zion.
 ⁸ Hear my prayer, LORD God Almighty;
   listen to me, God of Jacob.
⁹ Look on our shield, O God;
   look with favor on your anointed one.
 ¹⁰ Better is one day in your courts
   than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
   than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
¹¹ For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
   the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
   from those whose walk is blameless.
 ¹² LORD Almighty,
   blessed is the one who trusts in you.

After reading this, I want to be in God's dwelling place. This place of favor and strength. This place where I find a home and shield where I go from strength to strength. A place where I am ever-praising God for his greatness. I could go for that.

The word dwell means to live as a resident and reside. Where do you consider to be your dwelling place? I think of mine as my quiet apartment, in the middle of the trees, with the trails outside. I busy myself all day long. I rush, rush, rush, get home, drop my bags, inhale deeply and let myself settle in. At times, even my home is not a place of rest... it is another to-do list, more homework, paying bills, cleaning. The in-and-out every day stuff.

Now I am not sure about your dwelling place, but it sounds like God's place has quite a few advantages over my own.

Tyler and I are currently looking at new apartments. On our hunt we consider all factors. The amenities, the extras, the garage, the pool, the ceiling height, ohhh crown molding! Wow, a coffee bar, a nice work out facility. :) It's kind of funny to think of how much each detail matters. Then I think of God's amenities at his house. Peace, favor, protection, praise, happiness, good things, strength... ummmm YES PLEASE. Show me where to sign up! I think that in my search for a new apartment God reminded me of all the perks of his dwelling place.

Sometimes, we allow our hearts and thoughts to dwell other places. In worry, fear, doubt, a situation or conversation. I will go ahead and say that I am by no means innocent of this! There have definitely been times that I have thought, "You know what? I think I will pack up my bags and move into worrying about this now. I think I will become a temporary resident of worry!"  But the dwelling place of the Lord is where we are meant to be. It is where we renew our strength, hope and peace. The sweetness of God's dwelling place is that it is accessible all day, every day. When our dwelling place is with the Lord in his presence, we do not ever have to leave his peace.

How do we dwell in God's place when there are so many things that pull us in other directions? We do this through prayer. It doesn't have to be out loud or twenty minutes long, though it can be. God knows our heart and hears our thoughts. He hears the quiet prayers through out the day. The one sentence plea, the murmurs. He hears you. When we pray, we can choose His place over any other and we get all the "amenities" from being in His dwelling place. Along with the best part, a closer relationship with Him.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend and choose God's dwelling place!

The Little Things

Last week my students had to write an essay over the following prompt:

Write an essay about the value of the little things in life.

They sat there dismayed because they couldn't think of any little things that they valued. Wow! It shocked me that we had to talk through some of the little things around them that make their life more easy or enjoyable. We talked about laughing, spending time with friends and family. Parents who serve them by doing their laundry, making their meals, hugging them hello. We talked about a compliment, a surprise, and even a smile. They began writing and 40 minutes later the bell rang; there was a flurry of activity, backpacks zipping, desks moving, papers being stacked on my desk, kids walking in, walking out, asking if they could take it for homework and then there was silence. And I sat at my desk, in the silence of my second period conference, thinking about the value of the little things.

I thought of all the little things that I had been giving my attention to and I asked God to forgive me for all the times I passed up the little things without noticing their value and for giving so much attention to all the LITTLE things that get under my skin, that in the big picture, don't matter!  I wish I could just say that this is a just a problem of the new generation of teenagers! lol But I know deep down that it's not and that I often times forget how sweet the small things are. I also asked him to open my eyes to life's blessings and renew my thankfulness for them. I have always liked little things, I think everyone does. The small note, a good song on the radio, a friendly smile, the sun shining. I hope and pray we are keeping the value of the small things.

When my dad became sick with cancer, my perspective completely changed. I was so overwhelmed and thankful for the small things. I was thankful he was sitting at the kitchen table when I walked downstairs, I was thankful that I saw him at church and got to give him a hug good morning. I valued each and every small thing because it was precious.

Since last week, I am trying to take some time to dwell on the sweet little things that God brings to my life. It might be a co-worker who is always positive, a family member who helps, a friend who listens, a spouse who gives. And taking time to be thankful for them. Let's move our focus from the little things that try to trip us up, to the little things that speed us along.

The link to the song below is one of my recent favorites! I am definitely humored by it because it is about life's little annoyances and letting God use them to teach us, help us grow and then getting over it and remembering how BIG we're blessed! I am a little dramatic... ;) so my favorite line is "it's not the end of the world!"

Love you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqqdA8LHN7I&feature=fvwrel

watch her live here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HteoxWzAT8

The Six Letter Cuss Word

I mentioned in an earlier post that I love getting to the real stuff in friendships. I have a couple of friendships in my life that consist only of the real stuff. I LOVE these friends and the conversations that we have. A lot of these friends live in different cities, but as soon as we get on the phone or sit across the table to share a meal together, we jump ten feet in, right into the middle of the real stuff. It doesn't matter what it is. If it's awesome news we celebrate with each other, if it's sadness we cry together, if it's confusion we pray together. It's the friendship where the question "how is it going?" is asked with the desire to know how things are REALLY going!

My friend Lauren, is one of these friendships for me. We met at a bible study that I taught one summer and over the years she has become one of my best friends. I don't know that we have ever lived in the same city, except for summers. When I moved home from college, she left for college! We keep in touch through email, phone calls, text messages but one of my favorite parts about our friendships is the times when one of us is in town and we get to talk for a couple of hours. We almost always try to block out a lunch or dinner that we can catch up on all the good stuff.

A couple of months ago we got together for dinner at Panera. If you ask anyone about Lauren they will talk about her passion and love for God. She is so completely animated when she talks about what He is doing in her life. I love this!

We got settled, prayed over our food, talked about life, family, our walks with God, laughed at crazy stories, all the usual things. Eventually I asked her how college was going and if it was stressing her out. She said almost in a whisper "oh I don't say that word anymore." I was confused. There was a pause, and I whispered back, "what word?" Lauren mouthed the word "stress". She said with every bit of conviction she had, "it's almost like a curse word to me now, God is teaching me to watch my words and that is a word that I have decided not to say anymore."

Wow! I sat back in the booth and laughed a little. I automatically loved this thought and I got the biggest kick over it. This is why this girl is one of my best friends, I learn from her! Here I was sitting across the table from her, probably in one of my "worn down, pulled tight in my schedule, this is just one of those seasons I am going to have get through" days, and it dawned on me, the little words that I have been speaking just might have an impact on my life.  And though I don't curse, if stress was a cuss word, I had more than likely been cussing up a storm.

I decided to implement adding the word stress to my "cuss word list" effective immediately! :) I love a little challenge. So to be honest about my bad choice in words, I threw the words anxious and overwhelmed onto the cuss word list just for fun.

It was kind of hilarious at first how many times throughout the week I caught myself wanting to say these three little words. But it showed me just how often I was confessing this state of mind and being over my life. Confessing out loud for myself to hear and believe "I AM stressed! I AM anxious! I AM overwhelmed!" And I am not talking about crying out to God in my quiet time or asking him for solutions. I am talking about just saying it and believing it and in return, living it!

The best part of this challenge was the outcome that it produced. Instead of saying these things out loud, I closed my mouth and prayed. I was exchanging my "stress" for peace and a closer relationship with God. Instead of saying "I am just so anxious about this paper" without giving a thought to God. I quietly prayed within myself  "Lord you know my heart and anxiety help me to have a calmness and peace about getting this done." Over and over, prayer by prayer, my level of anxiety and stress reduced and instead of confessing stress I was confessing FAITH. After praying I would have the FAITH to say out loud "the Lord is going to help me get through this day, accomplish this task, talk to the person..." or whatever the situation was, God was now IN it, instead of stress!

Watching our words can be especially hard, but being aware of our words and their impact can be something that spurs us forward in our walk with God. I always knew to pray about my problems or burdens but that day I learned that by controlling my words, I could use my stress and anxiety to push me closer to God, not further away!

Below is one of the verses I decided to memorize during this time period:

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

To be honest, this is still something that I am working toward and that challenges me. I can't tell you how many times I have stopped talking mid-sentence! I still get stressed, I still find myself anxious and at times I am definitely overwhelmed! The difference is now I go to the Lord with these feelings and thoughts, and give Him the time to replace my stress or anxiety with a peace that is more than I could ever accomplish on my own.

Be blessed today!

Love.

My sister Courtney is six years older than me. My mom says that when I was born, Courtney thought I was her very own, real-life baby doll. We would play dress up, sing songs at the top of our lungs, pick on our brothers, laugh together ... all the normal sister stuff :) She loved me, and I thought she was the best thing since sliced bread.

I was five the first time she spent the night at someone else's house. I wore one of her t-shirts to bed and cried myself to sleep. I colored her so many pictures that they surrounded the walls of the bedroom we shared. For real! The first time she came home from college, she surprised me at my seventh grade volleyball practice and I was so happy, I cried, in front of all my friends. We have been through thick and thin. We are sisters and no one can take her place.

Don't get me wrong, we have definitely had our battles! What sisters haven't? But valentine's day is about the love, so the battles will have to be for another day :) When we were really young, we shared a room and one night before bed I remember asking Courtney how much she loved me. I must have been around six years old and she sat there for a while and said "If every car in the world was a heart, that's how much I love you."

That little phrase sure stuck in my head and I still sometimes tell people that I love, just how much, in hearts. Words are a powerful thing and just one sentence from someone can alter your course and even control your thoughts or mood. I thought today, "when's the last time I asked God how much he loved me? How much would one sentence from him change me and stick with me?" I know that one word or sentence from the Father can make an impact that a person is not even able to put into words. I know it has happened to me before. I try to tell someone else... and words are not enough to express how much it meant to me, or changed me. Love and words are powerful things.

I really believe God shows his love for us each day in the small, simple things. Ask God to show you all the ways he has been showing you his love and just how much he loves you. He is a good God, he lavishes us with love. And His words will change you forever.

1 John 3:1
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!

Be blessed today and know that you are loved more than anything.

Getting Out of the Freeze.

Last Friday school was canceled because of an ice day. The kids were happy, I was happy; it was overall awesome!

I spent my day waking up late and scrolling through the channels. I wore two pair of pajama pants, my ski socks from last winter, and an over sized hoodie as I sat on the couch buried under a huge blanket. I resigned myself to the fact that I was stuck and it would be WAY too much effort to get out in the ice.

Yesterday, I found myself again, in ice (what is going on Texas!?). I ran from the school building out to my car; put my hand on that ice covered door knob and yanked. Nothing. I pulled again, nothing. Determined to get to my seat warmers ASAP, I yanked and this time put some effort into it. FINALLY, the ice broke free and I scooted into my equally freezing car!

Sometimes, we go through a freeze in our life. Nothing is moving! It can last a day, a week, month or even years and we can be stuck. The freeze can be financial, spiritual, family-related, relational, physical. We can get our self into a freeze or it can be caused by situations out of our control. Some of my causes have been fear, failure, and even hurt. Many times, my life freezes have left me feeling weak and powerless.

If you are like me, these freezes can make you so frustrated! You pull and push with all your might and nothing is moving. Or... maybe you just resign yourself to the freeze, put on your comfy clothes, find the remote and sit on the couch, living up the excuse "it's freezing!" I would never do this! ;)

On the way to school this morning I heard the song by Chris Tomlin, "Our God is Greater". Talk about an awesome confession. I was sad that it was on the radio and that I couldn't push the repeat button when it ended. But it got me thinking about freezes and about God's promise. This song reminded me how much my outlook changes once God is on my radar. It is not up to me alone to break out of a "freeze", to mend a relationship, heal my hurt, conquer my fear, get past my failure or have the strength to try again. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says,

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

I LOVE this verse. God's power is made perfect in MY weakness. God's power is made perfect in YOUR weakness. I have to say it again, I love this verse. When I finally get to the place where I am too tired, or exhausted and don't have the energy to make stuff happen. Or when I am backed into a corner and I can't move and all my abilities, efforts and ideas have failed and I give up. That's when God finally gets to show off and show me what HIS power can do. Man, I need to give up more often!

These times give us another chance to see our creative and powerful God move on our behalf.  He makes a way, so that we know it could have only been Him. These are the times that our life and testimonies give God glory and honor. Psalm 42:11 says,

But, O my soul, don't be discouraged. Don't be upset. Expect God to act! For I know that I shall again have plenty of reason to praise Him for all that He will do. He is my help! He is my God!

Here is the link to the Christ Tomlin song. I pray it encourages your heart and stirs your faith that God is greater than any situation, or freeze, that you might be in! Invite him into your situation and that He will move on your behalf.

Be blessed today!

On a side note: I would recommend turning up the volume and singing/proclaiming this song as loud as possible... lol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_t_87NyHx0&feature=related

Watcher in the Window.

Every weekday morning sometime between 6:00-6:15 a.m. I make the scary trek from my apartment down to my car. I know this may seem silly, but it's pitch black outside! And after being raised by a firefighter, and now married to a police officer... (not to mention all the scary commerical/movies where people get taken) I have become a little TOO aware of what could happen... or maybe just overly imaginative :) On a normal day, I walk slowly, checking around my car from the second floor balcony. I listen for unfamiliar sounds, I check by my tires for shadows, I look to see if there any any random cars parked near by. I walk, at any point, ready to drop my three heavy bags and fight... or run! Part of being a teacher is the requirement that you carry over sized bags and preferably multiples... When I finally get into my car, I shut the door quickly behind me, throw my bags in the passenger seat unaware of where they land and lock the door. Even writing this, makes me laugh, because it's true!

On rare occasions my husband and I are up at the same time, getting ready for work. Sometimes, on cold mornings, he even wakes up from his sleep to start my car. Lately there has been a large, unfamiliar van parked right by my car! And I don't mean to judge, but it looks sketchy!

This morning, I asked my husband to watch me walk down to my car. He rolled out of bed, stood inside the window and told me he would watch. It wasn't until after I was safe in my car that I realized I hadn't done ANY of my normal safety check routine. I didn't care that I heard a door open above me on the third floor, that across the lot was a Camaro that had it's engine running. I didn't even glance at that van. I didn't check, because I knew someone was watching me and I was safe.

I couldn't see him this morning and neither could anyone else. But I knew he was there because I had asked him. Normally, I don't include Tyler in my safety equation, but what a difference putting him into the equation makes! I walked with confidence, knowing my man would TAKE any enemy DOWN!! lol (even if he was half asleep!)

This thought made me smile as I was driving to work. I felt like the Lord impressed upon my heart, what if you included me in your life equation? What if you asked me in advance, to watch? How much more confidence would you have in how you lived your life?

What a difference that would make! Before starting each day, recognizing and knowing that a powerful GOD is standing watch over me, ready to come to my assistance at any time of need. This is our God! He is our protector, shield, defender. He is our comfort, peace, and safety and he is standing watch over you and I.

I believe that as we include God into our daily equation and ask Him to be more present, we become more aware of just who we are, who we belong to, and who has our back. This simple thought helped me remember to ask God to be present in my every day. Even though he already is :) And to help me remember He is there and that He hears our prayer.

Psalm 18:6
In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.

Be blessed today!

Faith in the Tough Times

Recently, I sat down to visit with a dear friend.  We talked about the obvious things and gradually began to talk about the real stuff. I love getting to the real stuff. Great friendships are based on getting to the real stuff. We began to talk about something that she is believing God for. Tears filled her eyes as she explained how much she has been believing and hoping for this to come to pass. She said "I know God can, just why isn't he?"

I think we have all been there. I know he can, but why isn't he? It is an emotion that when it is happening to you, is so real and present and pressing.  It can be painful, uncomfortable, confusing and stretching. One day you are full of faith and the next you feel like you are at the bottom of a pit. When my husband was without a full time job last year, I experienced this very real pain. I know it's a scary place to be, but I think it's a real place to be, the place where you are fighting not to ask, why?

Sitting with my friend as she choked back those words reminded me of two things.
It reminded me of what faith truly is, and what the body of Christ is supposed to be.

Everyone would agree that it is easy to have faith through good times, but many of us have felt the times when our faith is truly stretched. When it's a need; God has to move or we might not make it out okay. It might be a physical, financial, spiritual or emotional need, but we know that God has to move on our behalf.  Hebrews 11:1 says

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

I mentioned before about my husband's job last year. God was faithful to provide for us during that time, but that's not to say that it wasn't stretching our faith to believe that God was going to do something wonderful on our behalf. It took every ounce of our faith to speak out loud that God was going to work in an amazing way. During this time period, Tyler was working part time at his police department and a new full time spot had become available. This was it! This was what God was going to do for us! The email came out announcing that another person had been chosen for the spot. We were heart broken. Somewhere deep within, my heart screamed, why!? I didn't understand. It is at times like these that I believe people have to take a time-out. A life, time-out. We had to get together and get past the hurt and put "why" to the side. Why doesn't matter! We are believing for something we HAVE NOT SEEN yet! So Lord, we trust you to bring on the good stuff! Not only knowing that he can, but believing that he will. I found this verse and posted it to my computer at work:

Psalm 138:2 I will give thanks to your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness, because your promises are backed by all the honor of your name.

Now trust me, this is TOUGH and it certainly wasn't my first response! I won't even write about my first response! :) God says that he will strengthen you in your inner spirit and I find myself praying that OFTEN! I had to refuse to speak doubt and also surround myself with people of faith. Which leads me to the second thing: the body of Christ. It is SUCH a powerful thing!

Galatians 6:2 says:
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

God knew that there would be some tough times in life and that we would need each other.  God gave us the body to encourage each other, pray for each other. When one person is weak in their faith it's our role to step in and say "I can believe for that, I can have faith for that with you!" It saddens me to think of all the opportunities we may miss as believers to share in what God is doing for someone else.

During this same time, I remember one person who was the body of Christ to me, in a very practical way. I was outwardly believing for God to do something but inwardly, I was sinking. I needed the body of Christ. I sat down with a dear friend and had a conversation much like the one I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, only I was the one crying out. Later during the day, I got an email from her. It said, I love you and I am praying for you guys and for God's provision and direction in your life and then there was a link attached to an encouraging song.

That email meant the WORLD to me! It meant so much to me, that someone was thinking about me after the fact, and that they were actually praying for me. My point is this, it was an EMAIL! :) Something short and easy and it encouraged my faith and made me feel strong. We all have time to write an email, make a phone call, send a card, go out for coffee, send a text, say a prayer. We have time to be the body of Christ.

How do we keep faith in the hard times? Believe that God can and will; gain strength through prayer and the body of Christ. Be blessed today!

New.

My husband is an avid movie watcher and I have been... blessed, to watch many movies with titles that I would have NEVER thought twice about ever watching! Most of the time I start off uninterested. You know, reading a book, painting my nails, walking in and out while flat ironing my hair. Slowly, I find myself engrossed in the plot. I am adding up all the facts and clues and predicting what will happen next. I triumph in my ability to know what happened and what will happen next. MANY times, just when I think I have it figured out, some new element comes onto the scene! My reaction to this is always different: surprise, confusion, happiness... it sure would have been nice to see that coming!

At times, my life is a reflection of my awesome movie-watching habits! :) I know what has happened and THINK I know how it's going to go in the future. I may get suprised or frustrated when things are not happening exactly how I thought or planned. This morning I read:

Isaiah 42:9
"See, the former things have taken place, and NEW things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you."

See, I think God likes to bring new stuff into the movie of our life.

Looking back, I see how God was always doing something new. We may be so caught up in the former things that we fail to see all the NEW things that God is doing or they take us by surprise. I love that the first part of this verse starts with the word SEE. God wants us to see the former things so that we can place it as part of the past. It is not always easy to put the former things behind us. We get stuck, we are hurt, we are afraid to let go, but we have a promise from a faithful God that he will and IS doing something new. Once the former things are in their right place, we can more readily enjoy and embrace all the new things. The Lord even says that he will announce them to us before they come into being. Wouldn't it be nice to have glimpse of what God will do next? I think the key is taking time to ask Him and hear what He is saying.

Matthew 7:7 states "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

Putting this into practice definitely takes some faith!

Today, I sat still in silence, and let God show me some new things that are to come. New things to pray for, to believe for and to look forward to; new ideas, thoughts, inspiration and words from Him. New comfort, peace, strength, love, forgiveness. His mercies are new each morning. God has new things for us.

And He Shall Reign Forever

Anyone who knows me, knows I am a bit of a sucker and complete lover of anointed worship.

This Sunday at church, the choir and praise team sang a song that made God's spirit in me swell up so much. This song has been turning in me today and someone very wise once told me "God stirs your spirit to move you" (thanks mom!) :)

When I feel God's spirit moving, stirring, reacting in me, I put my heels in a little and start digging! It helps me to stop and meditate on whatever it is so that I can hear how God wants to use it to move me. I dug a little into this song and found this link. Love it! It's about ten minutes and is an awesome addition to your time with God today. I hope you love it and that it gives you something to chew on for the rest of today. Be blessed today and consumed with the thought of Him!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvr4O9FiK9A&feature=related

A Consuming Fire

The word "consumed" has been rolling around in my head lately. Several events have happened that have forced me to come to the realization that we are meant to be consumed. I truly believe that not only are we meant to be consumed, we WANT to be consumed! So we start each day searching for consumption.... what am I going to DO today. What is going to consume my thoughts, energy, time, emotions. And somewhere along the way I let things consume me that I never intended or wanted to consume me at all.


I am consumed with the daily to-do list. This is one of many things that I have allowed to consume me. And I really think Satan loves it. The past two weeks I have been praying for God to help me rest in him. I catch my self driving with my shoulders tense and so focused on getting to where I need to be I can hardly take a deep breath.  I make myself sit back, rest my head on the seat rest and inhale slowly. I make myself enjoy that drive. I will not get there any more quickly if I think about it more intensely. Life if going to happen and I make myself look at the bigger picture and rest. I know it sounds so funny, but I was so consumed with my own thoughts and what I needed to do, I didn't want to hear the radio! I kept KSBJ turned off because I didn't want to sing that song, again! I didn't want anyone else putting anything else in my head to think about. This week, I turned on the radio. I turned on KSBJ... and I sang that song of worship again. And I thought about a mighty God on His throne. And I let myself be consumed with the idea of Him and His plans for this world. His plans for me in His world. And all other things fell away, and it was me and Him and his thoughts. And I was consumed and I really loved it.


This morning in my quiet time I read this:
"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful and worship God acceptably with reverence and awe. For our God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:28-29


After reading this, I knew it was true. I was meant to be consumed, I want to be consumed and I will be consumed. And I can choose what to be consumed by, and every day it's my desire to choose to let God consume me. Consume my day, my thoughts, my actions, words, feelings... MY TO-DO LIST! It's going to be scary to let go of all those things that I have worked so hard to do right and keep perfect. I think that I worked really hard to do a really good job of it, but it was HARD and it left me many times feeling unhappy! Deep down I know that God can do the BEST job of it and I have a peace and will be left with time to rest.


Intimacy with God is consuming. And I love it.